Testimonials of the Purple Orb

First Testament:

During the 1999 Texas Juggling Festival, about half an hour after arriving, I had my first and only experience with the great Purple Orb, a magnificently hued, round hunk of plastic. I was foolish enough to jump up on the amazing Purple Orb for the first time, without spotters. I had the cocky confidence of someone who can successfully boil water and chew gum at the same time, so how hard could walking on the Purple Orb be? I wobbled around for 2-3 seconds and began to fall, but didn't have the presence of mind to jump off first. Thus, I landed on my side with an impressively loud THWACK! heard throughout the gym as the Orb rolled innocently away. And that ended my participation in the festival. I found out later that I had chipped a bone in my wrist and had to wear a soft cast for 6 weeks while it healed, which made driving a standard transmission vehicle quite awkward. I suppose I felt some redemption when I saw 1 other person at the public show that night with his arm in a sling, apparently the Purple Orb was beneficent enough to bestow him with a dislocated shoulder (I think it was dislocated, can't remember). My girlfriend didn't appreciate my Purple Orb encounter and has forbidden me to get on the Orb (or at least expresses great displeasure at the idea), so I can only stare wistfully at it as my friends tease me about getting on it's round purple magnificence.

- Jason Harris

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